2002-2009 robhoofd.comThere is need nor reason to show up at my house with torches and pitch forks, commanding me to enter into the open. I will not. I will shut the doors, lock the catflap, and sit back with some Tchaikovsky and a glass of Tullamore Dew. I've been threatened enough to be very insensitive about these things, and if you do send me a threat, it will probably disappear in my bin without being read through. So please, don't spend your so-called precious time on mailing me. Just don't. No, don't.
Unless, of course, you want to praise me. A rarer phenomenon perhaps, but it does on occasion arrive: fanmail. People who genuinely love me and want to marry me and start an evil empire in my name. Well, I've never had that one, although I've had people tell me on multiple occasions that I'd really be their go-to guy if they'd want to start an evil empire (of death and oppression). Some even told me I myself should take the initiative. It's a lot of paper work, so I'd have to get an accountant, but hey, perhaps in the future.
Anyway, all the adorable silliness aside, with no further ado, I feel I must inform you: I like you. I really like you. But if you start sending hatemail, I might stop liking you. And would you really want that? Why would you want me to not like you? Right now, you should be thinking to yourself that you don't.
You think about that. When you're through, go out on the streets, tell a girl she's pretty, make sure everyone knows that they don't have to worry about anything, and remember: if you put your mind to it, you can live your dreams. You can make this world a better place, if you believe you can. Don't waste your time on petty disagreements or invisible pink unicorns.
2002-2009 robhoofd.com